Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
