her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
