dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I currently don't understand fingers.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
