I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize