Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
