Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
