no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
