I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
