Will you blow on my dice?
I'm really into asian looking animals
the day after is always just damage control
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
