I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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