problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize