Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
