return my video game
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
