What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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