we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
