and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
