I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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