White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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