did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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