that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize