The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
