I think my vagina is haunted
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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