As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
