quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
