kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
