so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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