dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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