I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize