Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
