hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
