I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
