He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
