i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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