Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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