There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
