Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
