I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
