Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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