She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
