I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
