ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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