it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize