I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
4 words: hood of his car
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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