To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
