you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When are your genitals available?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
