I didn't shave. On purpose
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Of course I have a pirate flag
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
