so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize