There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
