Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's shark week go big or go home
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
