I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
