And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i dont even know how to be here
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
