Life is so much better after having sex.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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