We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
