Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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