it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
