Don't make out with my wife yet
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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