I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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