did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
