Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
