i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
