Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
