tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
