wat bout pragnant strippers??
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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