Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
