is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
