I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think my mom watched the whole time
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
