would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize