love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That accounts for only three of the penises
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
